The life,times, troubles, toils, and tribulations of Raymond.

 
My beloved Los Angeles Dodgers are looking for a team mascot. This scares me, and I now share this email i wrote to my good friend Ben about this subject.

I am sure you have heard by now, but in case you haven't, our beloved Dodgers are looking for a mascot. So our storied franchise continues to lose the classiness and charm it one had....all while the O'Malleys lounge around their Lake Arrowhead mansion using $20 bills to light cigars and purring premium gasoline in the riding lawnmower for their friendly mexican gardener (Who actually has a great grasp of english).

I can't imagine what good could come of a mascot for the Dodgers....except maybe a Sportscenter commercial where all the other mascots give it a hazing. I can see Mr. Met whearing a robe and smacking the Dodger Mascot in the ass with a wooden paddle, while Mariner Moose reads incantations from a thick leather bound tome. Billy Brewer is in the corner drunk, and Baxter (The Arizona Diamondbacks Mascot Cat......a cat.....for the DIAMONDBACKS) is sitting on a couch licking his crack. SO yeah other then that promo.....I see nothing good coming from a Dodger Mascot. Sidenote: Did you know the San Antonio Missions mascot is Henry, The Puffy Taco. Now I know what bobblehead to get you for your birthday.

posted by Raymond at 2:00 PM